Nett Mother Bear

Hi and thank you for popping in xx

How is everyone coping during these difficult last few weeks, because I must admit I have had the odd wobble or two.

I am desperately missing my family and Steves family, I am especially missing my Mom and Dad and My Son and his partner and my new Grandson. If someone had told me that I was to become a Nan for the first time but actually you won't be able to hold him or be involved in his life for the first 3 months and longer I would of been horrified! Its been tough, Justin and Megs send me lots of videos and pictures and I have seen him at first through a window but now we are venturing to outside, but it is so painful being so close and yet so far away.

I know I am not the only one in this situation, and my heart goes out to everyone who has been separated from a loved one.

Lovely Albie

My Mom turned 81 on June 15th, last year we had a party and took her away to Aberystwyth for the weekend. This year was slightly different, but we did try our best to make it special. She had not seen Albie at all only on photographs. She doesn't have Wi-Fi so face time and videos were out of the question. It is her first great grandson and like me she is feeling the pain of not seeing him. So I told her I would pop over on the Sunday and bring her presents and we could stay in the Garden, what I didn't tell her that Justin and Megs were bringing Albie over too. So we arrived first and kept her occupied so she wouldn't see them walking past the house. Her face was a picture when the back gate opened and Justin popped his head round. I could see she was fighting back tears of joy and she said "I am going to have a moment" lol.

Of course it rained, Dad took shelter in the shed.

So it was a lovely afternoon, It was great being all together again even if it was a bit strange trying to keep our distance. I think having four children I have always had a house full of people, whether it be the kids or their friends or my parents or Steves parents or his boys, there is always someone popping in. I didn't realise how much I need that, I thought I liked my solitude. Turns out I don't.

I have been lucky in a way though, because life for me did pretty much carry on as normal. I work for the NHS in the community so I was still going out to work. I was also doing the shopping for my Mom and Dad and Justin because he is on the vulnerable list due to his cancer, and obviously having a newborn we wanted to be extra careful. So life kind of went on for me. I think I would of really struggled if I was in isolation. So I am thankful for that and thankful I had a job to keep us afloat financially, because there are lots or people who haven't been so fortunate and I know have struggled, Justin being one of them he has only been self employed 12 months and was due to submit his tax return in April when all this happened and because of that he couldn't get any help at all. Fantastic ! but hey we are what, 17 week in ? I have lost count, I have stopped watching the news daily weeks ago, and I don't even watch Boris updates now I just rely on people to tell me what's going on. I just keep getting up in the morning and carrying on, some days are worse than others. The last few days have been tough I have struggled I admit, my eyebrow has been up in the air and I have felt pretty low.

And we have also had to face a very sad time a couple of weeks ago, we had to have our old Sparky put to sleep. He was our family dog just turned 17 in April this year. When Justin moved out he took him with him I didn't have a say in the matter lol. I used to laugh and say he has gone to his retirement home because oh how they spoilt him. I owe him a debt, I was once walking on the beach we were on holiday somewhere down south, the children were young and I usually took the dogs a walk at about 7am before they woke up, the beach was deserted at that time apart from the odd dog walker, and I was bending down to pick up poop in the sand dunes which were very deserted and I heard Sparky growling behind me, he was on the lead at the time because we were walking back to the caravan through the dunes. I stood up to see what he was growling at because he was not a nasty dog and there was a man stood there, He was stood very close, the distance between us was Sparky. He never said a word I could sense he was weighing up the situation, he looked at me for what seemed like forever looked at Sparks who's hackles were up and was growling ferociously, then glanced back at me and then walked away. It all happened in literally seconds but time froze, to this day I go cold thinking about that, the look in that mans eyes!! If it wasn't for Sparky god knows what would of happened. My morning walks went out the window after that I can tell you, and to this day I am very aware of where I am walking and who's about.

So thankyou and goodbye my old friend xxx

So I brought myself a lovely old fashioned bike, I couldn't afford it, and at one time you couldn't give these bikes away I am told, but now they sell like hot cakes. I have wanted one for years it wasn't just due to the lockdown, I need cheering up, and I tell myself its only money, can't take it with you can you ? Steve if you are reading this you are so not allowed to use that line when you are spending lol.

Ella checking out the strange contraption

I do feel a bit of plonka on it, and I am having to ignore my children's laughter and take it on the chin because actually I love it, and who cares what people think! I did go out on it the other day and it was a sunny day, there were loads of people about and as I rode around town trying to be conspicuous, all I got was young lads saying "hello Billys Mom" yikes ! not such of a low profile on that day.

And I have to be careful down hills, I love to ride it round the park but there is such a steep hill and, as I say I am trying not to draw attention to myself, so I keep the brakes on. The last thing I want is to go careering down it and end up in a heap at the bottom ! But the brakes make a horrendous screeching noise ! People turn and look from the other end of town ! I am going to have to get fitter so I can go the other way around the park and ride up the hill instead of down.

So I will finish off with a few more pictures of Albie.